Where are you Christmas?

Hello, dear readers.  Thanks for keeping up with me. I want to give you a brief update before I spill my thoughts for the night.....

I am currently writing from my mother's cozy little home in Tennessee.  I had come home December 8, earlier than I planned, to see a gynecologist so they could decide whether or not I needed surgery to take out the cyst that was previous 8 cm in diameter.  Fortunately, after my doctor's appointment, I found out that my cyst has strunk significantly, and I will not need surgery right now!  I go back in January to see how it is progressing.

I sometimes wonder if I overreacted to the whole ordeal, but I am thankful to know that I am okay and to have doctors graciously work with me here to get better.  Although I miss being in Nicaragua terribly, I have enjoyed a time to be with my family and to rest.

However, I have had a really hard time getting into the "holiday spirit" this year.  Usually, Christmas is "the most wonderful time of the year."  I have fond memories of childhood Christmases getting ready for Santa, Christmas parties, singing Christmas carols, watching the same Christmas movies over and over, decorating the tree, making cookies and other confections, etc.  I have always enjoyed and still enjoy picking out presents and giving them to the ones I love.  The presents I receive are always wonderful and more than I could have ever asked or needed; they usually clothe me, provide for me, or bring me joy for the coming year. 

Yet this year I have mixed feelings about Christmas. To start with, and to be honest, I didn't know how I was going to buy Christmas presents this year.  I always want to buy my loved ones the best gifts and exactly what they want.  Of course, we always set a price of what "valuable" gifts are, whether the receiver knows how much you pay for it or not.  Thankfully, my family members have been so good to me and have more than helped me out, which I do not deserve.  I am all more than grateful to be able to get and give these things, but something about it all stirred up an unsettling sense of self worth.  I guess I feel bad about myself because I had to borrow and be dependant on my family members. I feel like, too, that this society has misfigured the value of how much you care about someone into the amount that we buy.  And because of this, not being able to buy more from my own earnings has made me feel like I am undervaluing the ones I love. I know this isn't right, and I know this feeling is lie planted by the enemy.

I also have mixed feelings about our values and traditions since coming from another country where I am observing different values and traditions.  In Nicaragua, there are two distinct groups of denominations:  Catholics and Evangelical Christians.  Catholics celebrate a holidays in honor of their saints just about every other day.  The biggest holiday is the celebration of the Immaculate Conception of Mary, which is celebrated December 7.  On that day, the ones celebrating make extravangant altars around a statue of the Virgen Mary in their homes and businesses.  That night, fireworks go off and people fill the streets like Halloween going door to door asking for candy.  Those celebrating the occassion stand in their doorways, and when someone comes to their doorway they ask, "Que es la causa de tanta alegria? (What is the cause of such happiness?"  The "trick or treaters" respond, "La concepcion de Maria!" (The conception of Mary!).  Then, the host/hostess give them candy.

My last day before coming to the States, I was able to observe this tradition.  Earlier that day, I had to go buy my medicines at different pharmacies to stock up for my trip. In one pharmacy, the pharmacist had set up a little altar for Mary and was giving out candy.  Even though I didn't say anything, the woman gave me some candy and insisted that I take it.  So I took it and was about to eat it when the person who was with me told me not to eat it.  Later, that person, who is an Evangelical Christian, told me that eating the candy would be eating food that is offered to idols, which the Bible warns about not doing.

Evangelical Christians in Nicaragua are those that aren't Catholic, so Pentecostal, Baptist, Assemblies of God, etc.  These are the Christians that I congregate with, work with, have relationships with, and I consider myself to be one as well.  Evangelical Christians in Nicaragua don't really celebrate Christmas or any other holiday.  They might buy toys for the kids or exchange presents, but rarely would you see them put up trees, sing Christmas songs, or talk about Santa.  In fact, I wonder what they would think about our traditions.  From talking to some, I believe that they would think our putting presents at the feet of tree, setting out stockings and cookies for Santa, and talking and singing about imaginary characters would be idolatrous.  These traditions aren't Biblical and aren't adoring God or Christ, but rather man made things.

I know this is unnerving to many of you who are reading, and maybe that is why it is so unnerving to me.  For so long, I loved and adored a tradition that has brought so much joy to me and my family.  However, I fear if these traditions are honoring to God.  If we look up the root of our practices, most of them come from rituals honoring other gods.  Our God is a jealous God and He warns about worshiping other gods and making idols out of our hands (see Deutoronomy 5:7-8 and Jeremiah 10:2-4).  I want to honor God because I love Him. I also don't want us as Christians to be ignorant (see Hosea 4:6).

However, as Christians, we celebrate Christmas as the remembrance of Christ coming into the world.  We do sing praises and adorations.  We remember how He humbly came and made His presence among us.  We share the love that He gives us by celebrating together, loving on family and friends, and being generous to those in need.  So this is where I am confused.... I see the people that I look up to and admire and love doing these things.  Our churches and our pastors that I highly respect practice these things. Does that make it okay?  I know that celebrating or not celebrating does not make me any more or less a Christian. 

Paul talks a little about this in Colossians 2.  In verse 8, he says, "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of the world rather than on Christ."  He goes on to explain that Christ is God in bodily form and only by Him and His sacrifice are we forgiven from our sins and given new life through faith in the power of God, clearly stating that no act of ours makes us any more or less righteous.  Then, he goes on to say, "Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day.  These are a shadow of the things to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ." (v.16-17)

I don't want to judge myself or others, because only One can judge and only by His acts are we saved.  I am just in the search for truth in my life.... pure and unadulterated.  I want to listen and consider what is truly honoring to Him, and I am in the process of figuring out what that means in my life.  By me sharing all this, I hope that you don't feel judged, condemned, or guilty.  My hope is that maybe together we can be enlightened.  The reality is that there is a Christ that has come and will come again like a refiner's fire or a launderer's soap (Malachi 3:2-3)  I want us to be ready for Him now and be refined so that our faith may be proven genuine when He is revealed (1 Peter 1:7).

When There's Nothing Else to Do... Pray and Write

So it's about 4:00 p.m. on a Tuesday, and I have been pretty productive so far today.  I am substituting this week for a English night class, so I went ahead and planned my lesson for tonight.  I also got my wedding "registry" ready; since I can't bring stuff from the U.S., Luis and I took pictures of things that we will need here.  I uploaded those and put the prices and details.  Right now, I don't have anything I need to do. I can't go anywhere because I am by myself in the house, and I have to wait for Patzy to get back.  Luis is on his way back from a job interview in Managua, so he's not here to to entertain me.  I don't have anything to do, but I have too much on my mind to not do anything.  That's why I decided to write, and as I write, I will pray.

The past few weeks has been, for lack of a better word, different.  I haven't had much to do during the week since Tamara and her family aren't here.  Luis and I have spent most of the time together, which has been nice.  On the weekends, I have been pretty busy teaching English on Saturdays and going to El Paraiso for church on Sundays.

Luis, my friend Adriana, and I have been going out early on Sundays to visit some of the members before church service.  I feel like it has helped some, and we had more show up this past Sunday.  It's been difficult, though, because we have been told and seen that some people show up just because they expect something in return.  I guess we all are that way with, God, aren't we?  We only call on Him when we need Him or want something.  I shouldn't expect a new church family to be much different.  It's so hard to lead the service and build an atmosphere of worship when it feels like most are bored to death.  I know a lot of it is based on the heart of the worshippers, because true worshippers worship God in their heart in Spirit and in Truth.  God is Spirit and He is Truth so only He can change their hearts.  Oh, Lord, change my heart to worship you more; pour out your Spirit on your people in El Paraiso and draw them closer to you.

I have been trying to analyze and refocus on my purpose being here in Nicaragua.  I feel like right now God has been really trying to mold and shape me.  He's been teaching me to have faith and to be content in every situation.  It's been a hard lesson. I have had a few family crises over the past couple of weeks that I have had to give over to the Lord because my family is in the US and I am here, not able to help.  I love my family so much, and I have to trust that God loves them more. 

My health hasn't been the best.  Everything started with a bad case of acne which pointed to ovaries on my cysts.  Thankfully, after treatment, most of the cysts in my ovaries have gone away.  However, I have had some pain in my side for the past few weeks, and I found out yesterday that a cyst I had that was the size of a pingpong ball in October is now the size of an orange.  My gynecologist says it needs to be surgically removed. Now, I am trying to decide if I am going to have to surgery here in Nicaragua or at home.  It's cheaper here, but my family wants me to be at home.  Either way, I personally can't pay for the surgery, and I am feeling guilt about my family having to pay.  Oh, Lord, please provide for us.  You can heal and work miracles.

I'm having to give my and Luis's future over to the Lord as well.  Luis is having trouble finding a job in Nicaragua.  Imagine finding a job in the US but 3 times worse... theren't aren't any job in Leon except ones that pay under $200 a month. Those jobs are hard labor jobs, where people are way overworked and underpayed.  Besides Luis wouldn't get hired because he is overqualified for any of those jobs.  I know God has a plan for him; we just don't know what it is yet.

I keep feeling like maybe Luis and I are just supposed to start our own business or organization.  I keep having several ideas run through my mind: a bilingual preschool, a language school, a cafe, a foreign exchange program.  Those are just the gists of my ideas.  Luis and I dream of having our own business, but we are clueless of what to do and where to even start.  God, please give us a vision and direction.

Amist everything I must give thanks.  I know my problems aren't that big, and they are a grain of sand to God.  I am thankful that God loves me and takes care of my problems.  I am thankful that they are part of God's plan for teaching me and preparing me for the future.  I am thankful that I cannot only minister to Nicaraguans but somewhat share in their sufferings. I am thankful that I am still well-fed and provided for.  I am thankful that even if I had nothing here on earth, He has prepared for me a place with everything that I could ever imagine.  I am thankful that in Christ and his divine power I have everything that I need for life and godliness (1 Peter 1:3).  I am thankful that Christ loved me and gave himself for me.  I am thankful that He has given me a second chance of life and has saved me from death not based on anything that I have done but based on His saving grace.  I am thankful that His mercies are new every morning and that He is faithful (Lamentations 3:23).  I am thankful that nothing can separate me from His love (Romans 8:38-39).  I am thankful that He has shown me love through my family and my friends.  I am thankful that He has provided me the man of my dreams and has allowed me to be a part of bringing Luis closer to Him.  I am thankful that I have a lot to look forward to in getting married and my life with Luis.

I could go on... but I won't.  The point is that I have more to be thankful for than to complain about, so I should be happy.  I will choose to rejoice in the Lord regardless of any situation.  Lord, may you be glorified. "God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life."- Psalm 51:10 The Message.

My Life this Week

I'm thankful to actually be awake earlier this morning to write some things down.  The past few days have been quite different than my routine before, and time has been going faster and slower at the same time.  I have a lot of things on my plate today that I'm trying not to let overwhelm me, but for now, I feel moved to write.

Tamara and her family left the house this Monday to go to the States for a month.  Thankfully, everything worked out for Milagros to go with them.  Since then, Patzy, Tamara's beloved housekeeper, and her son and little sister have been staying here at the house with me.  We all sleep in the same room; so I've been having to go to bed around 9 or 9:30 at night :-)  It's been fun to feel like I'm apart of a little Nicaraguan family.

My projects and activities are changing day by day, but that's just the beauty of God leading me in this life.  This past Tuesday and Thursday, I have been teaching Spanish to a fellow missionary friend that works with the Methodist mission organization, El Ayudante.  It's been a good and rewarding experience to help someone else communicate in a language that opens up more opportunities to minister in this country.  Unfortunately, she is leaving Monday for a couple of weeks, but we plan on keeping in contact and meeting together when she gets back.

Wednesday, I was invited to attend a retreat for pastors' wives and missionaries that was hosted by another mission organization called Reposo Divino (Divine Resting Place).  The purpose of the organization is to support women in ministry and provide for them a place to rest in the Lord.  The retreat was so wonderful and refreshing.  A few ladies from a church in Pennsylvania encouraged us with the Word and prayed over us. After a wonderful lunch, we were pampered with hand, feet, shoulder, and back massages and received a beautiful "anointing" and personal prayer by the women.  I thoroughly enjoyed the experience and being able to sit down and talk to the sweet Nicaraguan pastors' wives or church leaders, who are so beautiful and humble and full of the love of the Lord.  It was like a little piece of heaven.

I've been having some more quality time with my close friends here.  My friend Raquel and I have hung out a couple of days this week, which hasn't been that frequent since August.  Yesterday, another friend Adriana, Raquel, and I had a Bible study over Luke/Matthew; we read and talked about the birth of Christ.  Then, we went to see Lissette, the girl that lives on the street.

I have talked about Lissette in other posts, and I believe that God has placed her in my path for a purpose.  It's so hard, though, to know and discern how to interact with her and where boundaries should be drawn.  I know she doesn't always tell the truth, she huffs glue, and I worry about what she might be doing to herself to get money.  At least a lady in a park close by has given her a job by helping sell toys for Christmas, but it doesn't pay a lot.  She always asks me for money, but I don't give it to her because I fear that she will use it to buy glue.  According to her, she's had offers from some people to live in their houses and get off the street, but she never takes up their offer.  It's like she doesn't want things to change, and I don't know what to do to help her see that there's a better way to live.  I know Jesus does, though, and I just have to ask and trust Him to give me discernment.  Please pray for her though, and for those of us working with her so that we represent Christ in the best way to her.

Today, I need to plan for my 4 English class that a teach at the University and make a midterm exam for next week.  This evening, Adriana, Lissette, Luis and I are going to a special church service that they are having in the theater here in Leon.  Praying that God will work in many ways there.

Well, I always have more to write, but I should go eat breakfast now.  Thank you for reading and praying.  May God bless you and watch over you.

Restless Thoughts

It's past my bedtime right now, but my mind is too awake with so many things that have been going on.  Therefore, I have decided to blog about it, not only for my therapy but to share with everyone what has been going on so that you may be praying.

Right now, Tamara and David are at the other missionary Cheryl's house.  As I might have mentioned before, Cheryl has about 10 Nicaragua kids that live there, most who have some kind of special need.  One of them is Juancito who is 10 years old and paralyzed.  He choked after someone scared him while he was eating when he was five years old.  He has since then been unable to walk, talk, sit up, or hardly eat.  This past month, he has been really sick with pneumonia, a throat infection, and occasionally convulsing.  Since Cheryl is in the States and won't be back until Monday, the Nicaraguan women that work in the house take care of him but call Tamara when things get worse.  Tonight, Juancito is convulsing again; Tamara says he does not look good at all.  The women have already taken him to the hospital, but social healthcare doesn't accomplish anything here in Nicaragua and they just sent them home.  Tamara and David have taken him to a private clinic, where they are right now.  Please say a prayer for Juancito that God will touch his body.  Please pray over peace for Tamara and the women taking care of him.  Also, say a prayer for Cheryl, too, because I know this is heart wrenching for her to be so far away and to feel so helpless in the situation.  She would do anything for Juancito.

So many different things have happened this week that I don't know if I should categorize it as some kind of spiritual attack or just trials for us to go through.  Tamara and David have been busy trying to get things together to go home to the states on Tuesday, and that includes getting Milagros exit visa together.  Normally, the process is simple and done in a day.  However, due to problems with human trafficking in the world, Nicaragua has changed its policies on exit visas which require more paperwork.  On top of that, when Tamara thought everything was ready to go, we find out that the lady working at immigration in Leon who was supposed to take care of Mila's paperwork was corrupt and charging more money to push things through.  She has been investigated and removed from her position.  Then, we find out that they have to have all the other paperwork which requires identification or verification from Mila's birth mother.  Thankfully, Tamara and David still occasionally keep in contact with her, but she lives in the middle of no where and doesn't have a cell phone.  So, yesterday, Luis and David took a 5 hour trek in the truck to find her mom and get her identification to take to immigration in Managua today.  Tamara and David went to Managua this morning only to find out that they lacked another document that had to be signed by Mila's mother.  So, they made the other 2 hours back, and later David and a lawyer got together the paperwork and went to find Mila's mom again.  David and Tamara are supposed to go to Managua again in the morning.  If they do, it will be on a few hours of sleep.  Please pray for them.  If Mila doesn't get her exit visa, she can't go to the US with her family and would have to stay here for a month, which has never happened before.  However, if she had to stay, I doubt that Tamara and David would both leave here so would of them would probably stay with her.  We know that God has control of the situation... it's just all very stressful for them.


I personally have felt attacks in different ways, although not as severe.  My acne has really been wearing on my self esteem, but thankfully, it's starting to clear up some.  I also have had problems with feeling depressed or angry or judgemental towards myself and others.  I know those things aren't from God, but the good thing is that He's helping me to bring those things out of me.  I am thankful that He has surrounded me with godly people, like Tamara and Luis, to lift me back up and speak truth.  He has been speaking to me in His word as well, like in the Beth Moore study James that I participated in with some other missionaries last night.  He also has been speaking through other devotionals and people, and it was been a blessing to see and hear.

This morning, since Tamara was in Managua, I led her 4 teenage boys in morning devotions.  Each morning, we read Jesus Calling by Sarah Young and At His Feet by Chris Tiegreen.  Jesus Calling talked about going through difficult times and trusting in God's faithfulness by remembering how He has led us in the past.  At His Feet talked about the hard topic of "forgiveness" and how Matthew 6:14-15 says, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."  It's interesting how the two may coincide because I think often times the hard things we go through and deal with are when people do bad things to us.  So the boys and I talked about "What does it mean to forgive?"  Does it mean that you pretend like it never happened and forget what that person has done?  Do you have to take some action to forgive?  Do you have to restore the relationship with that person?  Why is it so hard to forgive?  Will God really not forgive us if we don't forgive others?

After analyzing it and talking it out, I have decided that forgiveness is more of an attitude and a process.  I don't think it means to forget what that person has done or to even trust them again in some cases.  I think sometimes telling that person you forgive them is healing, but it's mostly something that is done in the heart.  In some cases, relationships should be restored; in others, it might be for the protection of one or both parties if they are not.  Forgiveness is hard because it requires us to be humble, which is contrary to our human nature, and it must put aside emotions.

As far as answering my last question, I think about what it cost for God to forgive us:  Jesus dying on the cross.  And while others were beating Him, hurling insults at Him, gambling for his clothes, and piercing His hands and feet, He said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."  Jesus, while He was being abused, forgave.  But not only is that significant, His words speak it all.  The people didn't know or understand what they were doing.  After all, that is what sin is all about, right?  Sin is like a disease that lives within us that cannot be contained, and we find ourselves acting out the symptoms without giving a second thought to it.  When we first come to know Christ, the first step is acknowleding our own sinfulness and our need for a Savior.  So part of forgiving others is realizing that the person who has done you wrong is bound and taken captive by sin so that they don't even realize what they are doing.  It is evil working in them, and that is a scary concept.  Only Christ can clean and change someone from that and give them the power to turn from their wrong.  And if they don't turn to Him, they will have to pay the Father for what they have done. 

Some might think, "Well, that's what I want. I want that person to pay for what they have done to me."  That's when we don't understand and appreciate our redemption from "the wages of death." (Romans 6:23)  When we say people should pay, we are saying that we deserve our salvation, but that's not the gospel of grace.  We, too, don't realize that Christ not only paid for our sins but for the sins of the world, and we would be devaluing the price of His precious blood.

Forgiveness is hard... so hard that it took God becoming man and breaking His body to forgive us.  That's what it takes from us, too... brokenness...a breaking of self and of pride.... a breaking away from emotions and feelings of vengeance.  It is a process that lead us to our own cross.  However, thankfully, that is something we don't have to do on our own.  Jesus is there to help us carry the cross. 

I have a million other things I feel like I could write about or share, but I'll save some for another day.  I thank God that He is always faithful and at work, even when things look gloomy or hopeless.  I am learning to trust that He is in control and knows what He is doing.  He always has a way of making beauty out of messes.

Brief update.. but not so brief

So, I have been putting off writing on my blog long enough!  The past few months have been somewhat busy, so I hadn't really had much time to sit down and write.  Fortunately, today is somewhat of a holiday here in Nicaragua because yesterday was the local government elections here and most people are off.  Therefore, since some of my teaching plans have changed, I have time to sit down and write this!

Let me start out by telling you a little bit about what happened in September:
1) I experienced my first earthquake (it was in Costa Rica but the aftershock was felt here)
2)  San Cristobol (the biggest volcano in Nicaragua) erupted. We didn't have any effects from that here in Leon but several communities around the volcano had to be evacuated because of the ash.
3)  I finished teaching my first course at the university.  Teaching 24 students ages 13-30s for 4 hours on Saturday morning is rough, but it was a good experience!
4)  I stopped going on Thursdays to teach English with La Isla in Chichigalpa.  Paying for transportation to get there and back was adding up, and I felt like it was something I needed to move on from.
5)  Tamara and I started going out to El Paraiso during the week to visit the women and talk to them about future projects.
6)  Tamara, a few other missionaries, and I met together to talk about working together to minister to the street kids and pray for them.
7) I translated a week for Ridgepoint Church.  It was a small group of 6, but such great people!  We did street evangelism, a pastor's conference, and a clown conference.  I got to translate the clown conference; it was so much fun!  Through the street evangelism, I met a 15 year old girl, Lissette, that lives on the street and started trying to get to know her and minister to her.

8) I got ENGAGED!!! Luis asked me to marry him on September 25. It was so sweet... he set up and cooked a romantic candlelight dinner in his office.  He hid the ring in the dessert.. strawberries and chocolate!

At the end of September, I went home for about 2 and 1/2 weeks.  It was so strange to be home after making Nicaragua my home for 3 months.  It was great to get a break from the heat, not have to sweat all the time, and take hot showers.  I had a wonderful time visiting with my family and my friends.... I feel like the trip was worth it just for that.  I got to go to Huntsville, AL with my dad to visit my aunt Martha and uncle Rick and see my cousin Molly and meet my new beautiful baby cousin, Mackenzie!  I was able to spend good quality time with my mom, my dad, my brother, and my grandparents; we celebrated my granddaddy Fox's, my brother's, and my mom's birthdays. I am so thankful for that time with them!  I also was able to spend time with some of my best friends.  I was fortunate enough that I could go to Carson-Newman College homecoming and see all my friends from college! 

I also got to share a little bit about Nicaragua at the Senior Citizen Center in Coalfield and at my grandparents' Sunday school class at First Baptist Clinton.  It's such a blessing to be able to share my experiences and what God is doing.

On the way back to Nicaragua, I made a brief visit to see my friend/ aunt Lily in Miami, and I had such a wonderful time with her and her husband, Howard, and daugher, Ivanna.  They are such great people, and I am so thankful to have them in my life.

I got back to Nicaragua October 18, and I have been busy again working with Tamara and her family, teaching English, and working on wedding plans!!!!  I am living with Tamara now, and Tamara and I have been going out to El Paraiso once a week to teach sewing classes.  Our goal is to teach the women in the community how to make things to sell so they can provide for their families and communities.  So far, they have learned how to make reversible headbands and the beginnings of using the electric sewing machine.  It's going to take more time than we thought to teach them to make things, because although some know how to sew by hand or a manual machine, that electric machine just gets away from them!!!

I started another Saturday class at the University.  This time I have level 14 students, the last level in the language school.  I have about 10-11 students, and they are so smart and motivated!  It amazes me that some of them just started studying English about 1 year and 1/2 ago, and now they are practically fluent!! I am enjoying working with them so much.  So far I have only taught about 2 classes because we had a day off this Saturday (due to elections) and next Saturday (due to high school exams).  I might have another opportunity to teach classes during the week Mon.-Thurs. for 2 hours each if they have enough students to open another class.

I also have been helping Tamara and her boys off and on with their Spanish, although not as much as I'd like or they need.  They are leaving to go to the United States next week, November 13, so my time teaching them is limited.  I am still teaching Tamara's house helper, Patzy, English when she is able to take a break, and I hope to continue to do that while the family is gone.

A lot of my plans will change when the family leave, but Luis and I still plan to go out to El Paraiso on Sundays and at least one other day a week.  Luis has been preaching every Sunday, and it has been amazing to see how God has been working in his life.  Just over the past few months, God has released him from so many things including worry about work and debt.  Unfortunately, his business has not gone well and has decided to close it down for the moment, but maybe in the future, he will open it up apart from his business partner.  He has been looking for jobs, but jobs are so hard to come by in Nicaragua, especially Leon.  He had been so stressed about figuring out how to pay his bills and finding a job, but he kept trusting in God.  Now, we can claim that the $9,000 that he owed for his debts is completely gone!!!  He had owed on his motorcycle, which he sold, but the business shut down.  He had owed for the business loan he had, but his partner told him not to worry about it.  He is completely free from financial debt, and it was God's doing!  He's still looking for a job. He had several opportunites in Managua (2 hours away), but those doors have been closed (I say thankfully).  Now, he might have an opportunity to work as a supervisor at a popular restaurant chain here in Leon!!! We are hoping and praying this will work out!

Thankfully, Luis and I have had a lot of time to make wedding preparations.  We have set a date:  March 25, 2013.  We already confirmed with the church and the reception site.  Our reception will be at the popular El Convento hotel, and they take care of the set up and catering.  We have met with the florist and picked out our flowers.  We've talked to a suit shop about making Luis's suit and renting suits for the groomsmen.  In the US, I ordered my dress and picked out my bridesmaid dresses!  I am so excited that things are coming together so quickly and so easily!

Well, I believe I have summed up the majority of what has been happening.  There have been some great things going on, and at the same time, I know there has been a spiritual battle happening with me and those around me.  I have been having some personal health issues and bad acne breakouts which have really worked on my energy and self esteem.  Nevertheless, I am learning what it means "to be content whatever the circumstances." (Phillipians 4:11)  Sometimes it's so easy to let our happiness depend on how we feel, what we are doing, what we have, or what we don't have.  However, happiness depending on circumstances is not true joy; true joy only comes from Jesus.  I am having to look to Him for joy, strength, and self-significance.  And looking at Jesus, one can't help but be joyful in knowing that the God of the Universe loved me from the beginning of time, made me for who I am, saved me from the sin that tries to strangle who God is bringing me to be, chose to have a personal relationship with me, and is preparing me not only for blessings here on earth but for an eternal inheritance that includes a storehouse of blessings in His Holy dwelling place.  So from now on, I am going to hold to those promises and search intently to look into Jesus's radiant face.. and all these other problems will dissolve.

Thank you for reading another novel, haha. Please pray for us here, including our health.  Milagros had dengue fever, which is contracted from mosquitoes, last week, but thankfully, she is completely better.  One of the kids in the other house, Juancito, can't walk or talk and lately he has been really sick with pneumonia and a throat infection.  Also, Ingrid, Luis's sister, has had several complications; supposedly she had a "stroke" today, but I don't really know if that's what happened since she is only 18 and she is already home from the hospital.  Anyways, please pray for her.

I will continue to remember you and everyone while I am here in Nicaragua.  Love you all and God bless.

Work, work, work!

Wow! I can't believe it's been more than a week since I last wrote.  Time is flying by fast down here.  I'll give you a brief synopsis of what my regular week looks like:

Sundays- I go to church at El Paraiso and teach Sunday school and help lead the service. 

Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays- I teach Spanish to three of Tamara's boys (2 together and one separately) and English to Tamara's help, Patzy and Jessica.

Tuesdays- My day off!! This past Tuesday, I washed my clothes the Nicaraguan way- by hand.  It took me two hours, and I got a blister on my thumb!  Then, because I washed them so late, they didn't dry that evening!  It took some of them two days to dry! As you can imagine, some of them didn't smell so great, haha.

Thursdays- I get on the 6:45 a.m. bus to go to Chichigalpa to teach two English classes to 5th and 6th graders in an elementary school.  In the afternoons, some volunteers from La Isla and I play and color with the kids. :-)  After that, I go to Bethel to see Yahaira and some of my friends out there.

Before I tell you what I do Saturdays, I have to make a big announcement:  I GOT A JOB TEACHING ENGLISH AT THE UNIVERSITY!!!  A month ago, I applied at the Centro de Idiomas (Language Center) in UNAN- Universidad Nacional Autonoma de Nicaragua (National Autonomous University of Nicaragua).  This university is one of the most prestigious universities in the country, and the English program is the best in Leon. This past week the director called me to let me know that there was a teacher leaving and they were needing someone to replace him.  So, on Saturdays, I am teaching a level 7 (there are 14 levels) intermediate English class from 8:00 a.m.-noon.  I have 24 students ages 14-30s.  It's a challenge teaching teenagers and adults!  However, I really like my students, and I am really excited about the opportunity to grow in my craft.

I am also substitute teaching an English class for Jonah Price on Saturdays until the end of the month.  I teach that class from 2:00-4:00 p.m.  Therefore, yesterday, I taught English for 6 hours!!!  At least next week, the UNAN classes will be on break, and the last Saturday of the month, I will be giving Jonah's class an exam.

Finally, Saturday nights, Luis and I go to his church, Belen.  His church has been really growing this past month, especially in the youth department.  Last night we had a wonderful service that really energized my spirit.

So today, David (Tamara's husband), his sons, Luis, and I went to El Paraiso.  We tried to go last week, but the clutch on the van was loose so we had to come back.  Thankfully, today, the van held up even though David had to lift up the clutch with his foot every time he changed gears.  What's important is that we got there safely. 

We were supposed to have Luis's uncle come with us to preach, but he was unable to come today.  I didn't find out about that until 10:30 this morning, and this morning I was worn out!  However, when I found out that we didn't have a preacher, I had just read my Jesus Calling devotional.  To sum it up, it was talking about being tired and how God works in weakness.  I knew that even though I was tired, I was going to have to preach, and God had given me the word.  So, I preached today, and it went really well!  Thank God that He opened my mouth and gave me the words to speak, even it wasn't perfect.  I think the message is exactly what the people needed to hear.... that God uses the weak to show his power.  Many of the people in the church feel like they aren't qualified to step up and be leaders.  Hopefully, after today, they are encouraged that Christ can work through anyone and that He is calling them to rise up and be courageous.

So life has gotten really busy here in Nicaragua, but I am still loving every minute!  At times, I still get to relax or have fun.  Raquel and I haven't seen each other too much, but we were able to spend some time together this past Wednesday.  I am hoping we'll get to spend more time together on our days off.  Luis and I still see each other and spend time together every day.  We usually just sit and talk or watch a movie; this past week we watched the Abraham movie on YouTube, haha.  We also have been reading the Secret Garden in English so I can help him with his pronunciation.

Winter has finally arrived in Nicaragua.  Of course, it's not the type of winter we are used to in Tennessee rather what they call winter is really the rainy season.  Tuesday night brought the first long rain.  After that first rain, it's rained every day, mostly in the afternoon or at night.  The rain's kind of nice because it cools everything off.  The disadvantages are that (1) people get sick more during the rainy season, (2) you can't get out as much when the streets are flooding, and (3) clothes don't dry as fast!

Well, I think I'm done "summarizing" another week and my life right now.  Here are some prayer requests:

1.  The church in El Paraiso.  We really need a preacher and some of the members to step up and lead.  Also, some of the members cannot read, either because they didn't learn or have poor eyesight.  Maybe in the future we can collect some reading glasses for those that have trouble seeing.

2.  People that I live and work with.  A lot of people here in the hostal and the people that I work with on Thursdays in La Isla don't know the Lord.  It has really burdened my heart.  Please pray for opportunities to share God's love with them and boldness to speak the truth in love.  I feel like it's easier to witness to Nicaraguans than to Americans, and so I am more timid when speaking to them about the gospel.

3.  Managing time.  I am so blessed with what is going on, but I don't want to be so busy that I miss what is fruitful for the kingdom.

4.  My energy and health.  Praise God that my energy has been getting better.  I have still been fighting off infections from time to time, and I am still struggling with finding things and making food that's good for my digestion.  However, thank God that I am well for the moment.

Thank you so much again for reading.  I always sit down with the intentions just to write a little, but then I keep thinking of things to share!  I share these things with the hope that you will receive a blessing just as much as I have been blessed here.  I love you all very much.  Take care and God bless!

Getting Settled into a New Routine

So I am really exhausted right now, but I already have so much to tell and I want to share it before I miss the opportunity.

This week, I started doing more of what I had planned to do while I am down here: Bible studies, teaching Spanish, teaching English, spending time with the people down here and administering needs etc.

Sunday was a big day.  Tamara's husband (David), her boys (Jonah, Daniel, Caleb, and Josh), Luis, a leader from Luis's church, and I went out to El Paraiso to lead the church service.  I really didn't know what to expect because I had just been to the service one time while Tamara was here, and there was a pastor that lead the service at the time.  However, since El Paraiso doesn't have a full time pastor and the other pastor didn't feel called to serve there, Luis asked for someone from his church to come preach.  Luis and I kind of took the reigns, so to speak, with leading the worship and the process of the service.  It was a challenge but a blessing, and I was really proud of Luis for manning up and helping lead, even though he didn't feel good at all that day.  The man from Luis's church did a great job preaching.  I lead the children's Sunday school activities and watched them as they colored quietly out front during the preaching.  David and some of the men from El Paraiso are in the beginning stages of building a Sunday School building, and that will serve as a great place to have children's church while the adults receive the word without distractions.

Monday, my friends Lissette and Adriana came over to my house for Bible study.  We have been going through Genesis and John.  God is so good to pour out His Spirit and knowledge into the conversation.  I am so impressed about how much these girls know about His word and how He is opening their eyes to His word.  We had some really great in depth conversations like if men really had one less rib because God made Eve out of Adam's ribs or about how smart men really are but don't consider their knowledge from God.  I am so thankful for my time with them, not just because of the opportunity to serve, but how much I am learning myself and how they challenge me to study and read more.

Raquel was supposed to be at the Bible study, but when I called to check on her, she was on her way to take her younger brother, Marcos age 18, to the hospital.  Marcos was really sick and vomiting and said he didn't have a lot of feeling in his arm and his tongue.  So, since Raquel and her older sister are the only close family around, they took him to the hospital emergency room.  For those of you that aren't familiar with Nicaraguan public health hospitals, you would be absolutely horrified with the conditions they are in.  The one in Leon is a run down building, most of it open air, and not very sanitary at all.  Going to the emergency room is an all day process, too.  When I went to check on my friends, they were sitting in what look like an airport or bus station seats, and Marcos was laying on his older sister's lap with an IV.  I stayed with Raquel, who seemed really worried about her brother, and kept her company. We had to walk up a floor for Marcos to get his fluids taken for lab work, around the corner to get x-rays, back down a floor to wait, and back up 3 hours later to get the blood and urine analysis results.  Craziness... Thankfully, I had made some chicken noodle soup for Luis and me the night before (Luis got extremely sick that night but I nursed him back to health).  So I heated up the leftovers to take over to them for lunch.  It was kind of awkward sitting there while people with IVs and whatnot were watching them eat a bowl of soup, but at least they got to eat! I was happy that Marcos was able to put away two small servings!  I don't know if they ever really figured out what was wrong... I think maybe maldigestion and dehydration.

Monday night, I hung out with Luis's family.  I was so delighted to see Luis's 2 year old niece giggle silly with joy because we were there.  Luis, his sisters, and I took her on a walk in her stroller.  Later that night, Luis's little sister, Cynthia age 10, and I played STOP, which is like scattegories.  I really enjoy spending time with his family. :-)

Tuesday and Wednesday, I started helping Tamara's sons with their Spanish.  I am thankful for the experience I had teaching last year, because I have been using some of the resources and teaching ideas to help them.  They are really good students, mostly because they usually teach themselves in other subjects.  I am hoping to work with them at least 3 times a week for about 30-1 hour each, sometimes with two of them together.

One of the girls that lived in my house last month, Dureen, works for La Isla, a non-profit foundation that does research to support and advocate for the people living with the kidney disease in Chichigalpa, close to where I first did mission work in 2008 with Vision Nicaragua.  She mentioned to me the other day that they had an English program that they were starting again and invited me to volunteer on Thursday.  So today, Thursday, I went with her and a couple volunteers to an elementary school to teach two beginning level classes to 5th and 6th graders.  Although I was not prepared at all for the lesson or teaching, I loved teaching English to those kids! Therefore, I am going to try to start teaching out their every Thursday and maybe even be kind of a director for the English program over there.  Unfortunately, it might not be a paid position, but I might be able to write a grant for funds.  At least I will have another opportunity to use my talents to help others and share God's love.  Those kids will benefit from learning English to help them have a better chance of a good job in the future so they won't have to work in the sugar cane fields, where most people get sick.

Another advantage of going to Chichigalpa is that I will have the opportunity to visit some of my friends in Bethel!  Bethel is the community that I worked with the first few times I came to Nicaragua.  Since Bethel is about 45 minutes from Leon, I had not been out there in 2 years.  Today, I called my dear friend and sister, Yahaira, to meet me in Chichigalpa for lunch, and after doing some activities with the kids at the school, I went back with her to Bethel.  It felt so different but so good to be back in the community and see familiar faces! Many of the kids have grown so much!  I was so happy to spend time with Yahaira and her sister Jazmina and her family for a couple of hours.  I am planning to try to visit every week after teaching English in Chichigalpa.

Well, I think I wrapped up the majority of what's going on.  God has been so good to me.  Not only is He opening doors for me to work and witness to others, He has used many people to be blessings to me and has been teaching me to draw closer to Him.  I have been able to have more quiet times.  Today, the Lord woke me up miraculously (for those that know me) at 5:00 am, and I got to spend a good chunk of time reading the word and praying before I had to leave early on the bus for Chichigalpa. 

On the bus, a man sat down beside me and was reading a pamplet that a Jehovah's witness had given him, but He was looking up scripture on His phone.  I started talking to him and found out that he is a Christian and reads the Bible.  He was just reading what the scriptures in the pamplet said.  Nonetheless, I came to find out that his wife attends a baptist church where the ministry had been before, and Pastor Carlos, who used to work for the ministry, was the former pastor of that church.  He knew about Milagros and some of the kids in Cheryl's house, and I was able to update him on the kids' progress.  It just seemed like one of those divine interventions for whatever reason, only God knows.  For me, at least, it was an encouragement talking about the word with a fellow brother.

Thanks for reading all this.  Sometimes I wish I just had a jump drive that I could connect to my brain and download all the glimpses and details that are stored in my mind.  I appreciate your prayers... I can feel them.  Please keep praying that I will be come stronger in health, mind, and spirit.  Please pray for the ministry in El Paraiso and the girls I have mentioned in this blog.  Please pray for boldness and opportunities to share the gospel.  Above all, may God be glorified in my life, as well as yours. :-)

Quick Update of First Month

Hello dear friends.  I apologize for not updating my blog over the past few weeks.  I had been busy with the mission groups for the first 2 weeks or so, and I am just now getting time to myself to update.

July 5-12, Beech Park Baptist brought a group of about 22 down to do street evangelism, Bible school, and a dental clinic provided by Dr. Steve Smith.  I forget the exact number, but I believe over 200 came to Christ that week.

July 16-22 was a group of about 40 that did medical clinics, Bible school, and street evangelism.  We went to several different areas including a community near a dump in Chinandega, which is about a half hour from here.  The group also handed out some clothes to the children in some communities. 

Last Saturday, the last day the group was here, we went to the nursing home here in Leon.  The people there are so precious and so appreciative to have visitors.  One man, Carlos, we had remembered from last year.  He's 101 years old and deeply in love with the Lord.  He is so precious and was singing the praise songs out loud.  He even got up and spoke when one of the women was giving a message, saying how Jesus was his good shepherd and how blessed he had been and how happy he was that we were there.  It touched me to see someone with such a sweet spirit and love for God and others.

That night, we went to Luis's church, Belen (translated Bethlehem).  We had an amazing worship service because they had prepared to sing songs that we were familiar with so that even though they were singing in Spanish, we could sing in Spanish.  I had to translate most of the time, but I thank God that He helped me because I was so nervous!  My friend, Nikki Baker, gave her beautiful testimony about how she came to Christ and how He has been with her in her life, and I think a lot of people were moved and touched by what she had to say.  Before we collected the offering, the worship leader shared with us that they are in the process of building two Sunday school classes and that the offering was mostly going towards the construction.  When Mark, the president of Jesus Centered Ministries, heard the news, he agreed to match whatever was taken up for the offering to give to the church.  So the church took up $306 dollars but received $612 total to go towards their new building!  I was so excited for them!  Mark, with the translation of Pastor Ed from El Salvador, brought a powerful presentation of the gospel that moved the majority of the people there.  At the end of the service, most of the church came forward for prayer and some to receive Christ.  It was truly a great night! 

Since the group left Sunday, this past week I have been just trying to take it easy and gradually settle myself.  Sunday, I went to Raquel's cousin's wedding.  It was more of a civil ceremony than an actually wedding, but I enjoyed the experience of something different.  That night, I went to church at Casa de Jehova (House of Jehovah) in the center of Leon.  It's probably one of my favorite churches here in Leon because they meet in an old movie theater and the pastor is one of the best preachers I have heard here.  Raquel joined me a little later and my new friend Lissette came as well.

I met Lissette last week when I was working with the group.  She knew Cheryl somehow and wanted to work with the group so she could practice her English.  Last Thursday, Pastor Ed from El Salvador talked with her and shared the gospel, and she excepted Christ! Her and I started talking more Friday, and I invited her to join Raquel and me in a Bible study.  Lissette has a geniune thirst for the word and to live for the Lord!

Monday, Luis and I went to Managua to celebrate my friend Yahaira's birthday.  We got to go to PriceSmart with her, which is like a Costco or Sam's Club.  I felt like I was back in the US at that store!  We spent most of the day at her house visiting with her and her friends, but we had to leave the party early to get back to Leon.  At least we got to take a piece of birthday cake with us!  It was made right there in their bakery and was delicious!

I started getting sick on Tuesday so I rested mostly that day.  My body's had a hard time adjusting to diet and climate changes.  The dust I think has irritated my throat and respiratory a little bit.  However, I am still able to go up and about, and it's nothing to worry about, so don't worry! It just takes time to get used to a different lifestyle.  Luis has been taking good care of me, too!

Wednesday, Luis and I celebrated our one year anniversary of being "together" (even though we were in different countries for the most part).  We didn't doing anything in particular other than spend the day together.  We did go to a new cafe in Leon and drink coffee and eat cheesecake!  That night, we went to his house and hung out with his family, which is one of my favorite things to do.

Luis and I have had a good first year even though we've had many challenges with distance and cultural differences.  The good thing is that we have been able to work out our differences quickly and sometimes laugh about it later.  He's been so good to me since I've been here.  He's been teaching me how to cook or sometimes cooking for me (like he came over and made breakfast for me today).  He takes me around places I need to go and helps me get stuff done like coordinating with churches for the group last week.  When I start to feel a little down, he always encourages me and speaks truth to me.  One time, I got a little upset with him over something silly, and he came into my room with a guitar and started singing to me!  I am so blessed to have someone that loves me so much!

I have also been blessed by building relationships with others here in Nicaragua.  Thursday, Lissette and I started reading the Bible together.  Patzy, who works at Tamara's, joined us to for a little bit.  I really enjoyed reading and praying with them and to see their hearts for the Lord.

Raquel and I have been hanging out quite a bit as well.  She shows up at my house every once and a while and we'll spend most of the day together.  Yesterday, we spent all day together, and I got to go with her to her university, UNAN, which is one of the largest in Nicaragua.  She didn't have class, but she had to get her grades and copies.  It was interesting to see the buildings and set up and see the similarities and differences there.  Like I am pretty sure all college students act and dress the same.  The buildings at the university were a lot older and worn down than the ones back home but still have the campus feeling.  It was really neat.  That afternoon, she and I did the Bible study that I did with Lissette and Patzy, since she couldn't join us Thursday.  Raquel still has had a hard time with her mom's passing, and we talked about what heaven would be like and what her mom might look like now.

Well, I have written a lot so I am going to wrap things up:
Jonah, Tamara's son, has gotten to the top 5 in a Mello Yello One Track Find contest (seen on Facebook).  He gets to go to Atlanta on August 4 and record a professional music video with his original song!  He has been teaching English on Saturdays for a couple of hours so he has asked me to substitute for him for the next month.  So I am going to be teaching English to a group of 14-26 year old students on Saturdays!

Tomorrow, Sunday, I am going to El Paraiso with Tamara's husbands and sons and Luis.  Tamara went back to the US this week to work out some things for Mila's adoption and other stuff, so I will be filling in for her and teaching Sunday School at El Paraiso.

Monday, I plan to do the Bible study with the girls again.  I am hoping next week I will have more of a routine and maybe start helping Tamara's boys with Spanish and some other people with English.

I need to start getting ready now for church (they're having a singing competition tonight!), so please be praying for the mentioned things above.  Please pray for me that I will be strong in health, mind, and spirit.  Thanks for your prayers and for reading.  I love you all.

First Day in Leon

So.. it's like midnight here in Leon, and I can't sleep for thinking about such a great day I had today and all the many exciting possibilities that I may have to serve here.

Mom and I got in late (almost midnight here) last night to the hostel.  I am staying at Harvest House in Leon, which is a hostel right beside Tamara's house.  It is really nice, and the owner, Jason, has done a wonderful job with remodeling it and making it feel more like a home than just a place to stay.  I have a room in the back of a house with a full/queen size bed, a closet/shelf rack to put my clothes and other personal items, and my own bathroom.  I also have access to a full kitchen with all the cookware and utensils provided.  The hostel has a lot of little spots to just sit and relax; I have already chosen a hammock that acts more like a porch swing for a future quiet time spot.  I really like it here so much so that I think I will stay here at least until the end of September, instead of till the end of this month like I had originally planned.

This morning, Mom and I got up a little before 9:00 (I know that's impressive for those of you who know how late I can sleep).  First thing I had to do was go buy water because Mom and I were dying of thirst!  We got cleaned up and unpacked all my things. While we were unpacking, Tamara came over with Milagros, her almost 3 year old Nicaraguan daughter.  For those of you who haven't heard of Milagros, her name means "Miracles" and she truly is a miracle.  Tamara has had her since she was about 4 months old. She found her in the hospital here in Leon, and she was very small and malnourished.  Tamara brought her home to take care of her and stayed with her ever since then.  Milagros has had a lot of complications, which includes infantile seizures and impaired vision, and last August, the doctors told Tamara that she would never be able to walk.  However, they must have not known that she lives up to her name because she walked in with Tamara to come see me in my room!  She has been walking by herself without having to hold on to walls or anything else for almost a month now.  She is a true testament of how with God all things are possible and faith and prayer is the most powerful regimen to any problem!

My friend, Raquel, and my boyfriend, Luis, came over around lunch time, and we ate lunch with Tamara in her house that was prepared by her help and my wonderful friend, Patzy.  After lunch and visiting, Raquel, Luis, Mom, and I went exploring Leon.  First, we went to see Luis's new office for his business, I Feel Nicaraguan.  It's so nice! I could tell Luis was so proud of it!  I also got to meet his business partner, Edwin, whom I really look forward to getting to know better!  After visiting the office, we went on a tour of the Cathedral of Leon, the biggest cathedral in Nicaragua and the third largest in Latin America.  We got to go on the roof that overlooks the city and the land around it. Supposedly, you could see 11 volcanoes from there, but I only saw about 5, which is still really cool.  Finally, we went to my favorite souvenir spot in my plaza, La Plaza de Carmen, and let Mom look at some jewelry and meet my friend who runs the place.

As you can imagine, after an afternoon like that and walking around, we were beat!  It's pretty hot here, although it's not as hot as it has been in Tennessee.  However, there's no air conditioning, and after walking around the city, our feet hurt and ankles started to swell.  So Mom, Raquel, and I rested a little bit and ate dinner at a little house/restaurant down the street, while Luis went off to work out at the gym.  It was really good to use that time to catch up and talk to Raquel.  It was funny seeing Mom and Raquel trying to communicate, even though I translated for them most of the time.  I am so glad to have her as my friend and look forward to hanging out with her more.  We already talked about doing a Bible study together, and I pray that God will show me where to begin.

In the evening, Luis came back to the hostel to take Mom and I to his house to meet his family.  I was so excited to see his family again; I love them so much! His mom was so sweet to us; she had made us fried chicken and rice (even though we had eaten already but we took it to go) and she made a drink with my favorite Nicaraguan fruit- pitaya.  (Pitaya is a purple fruit that supposedly comes from a cactus.)  We had a great visit with his mom (Margarita), his sisters (Ingrid and Cynthia), and his little 2 year old niece (Natalia).  Natalia entertained us most of the time; she is so precious!  She is a bundle of energy and a handful, but she is super smart!  Luis taught her to say, "My name is Natalia" in English and German.  What melted my heart though was to see that she remembered me and can now say my name right.  Before, she called me "Carne" which means "meat" in Spanish, haha.  Now, she says my name so clearly, and her mom tells me that she asks for me all the time when I'm not there.  We had a really good visit with Luis's family, and I thank God that I did so well translating between my mom and Luis's mom.

Well, we came back to the hostel around 9:00 pm but went over to Tamara's house beforing coming back to get ready for bed.  I got to meet Tamara's newest house guest, Freddy, who is a 10 year old Nicaraguan boy.  Freddy was homeless by himself, and having met him before through a friend, Tamara invited/convinced him to stay at her house.  He's been staying for a week there, and I can tell that God has a big plan for his time there and for his life.

I feel like I could write so much more, but my computer battery is about to run out!  A few quick things you are probably wanting to know:

1.  Things have been wonderful with Luis and he has been so sweet with my mom.  Last night, he was a little bit nervous to speak English today, but today, he showed all around Leon and took such good care of her!  It's been so wonderful to share time with both him and Mom!  It's made me love him even more!

2.  Prayer request: 
Tamara is in the process of trying to adopt Milagros, which is a long process and very risky because the government can take Mila away at any time. 

The first group come on Thursday.  Some will be working on a Sunday school building in a community called El Paraiso, and others will be doing VBS/evangelism/dental.

I have so many projects I want to start like helping Patzy, Luis, and Raquel with their English, helping Tamara's boys with Spanish, going over to help the kids in the other JCM house, starting a Bible study, etc.  I know I can't do this at once or much of it while the groups are here!  I just need patience and direction to know what to do and when to start!

Pray that Mom continues to do well and that she will get used to the heat.

Pray that I will stay focused on Jesus and connected to the Vine.  It's really hard for me to find time to do my quiet time and read my Bible or pray.  This is the most important thing for me to do because I cannot do anything if I am not near to the Lord and enabled by His Spirit.

Well, that is all for now.  I think I am going to try to sleep a little bit before starting a new long day.  I hope everyone is doing well and is blessed.  Hasta pronto!  Later!

The Beginning of the Journey: A Leap of Faith

"Once you find where the trail is, you are faced with a sobering truth-in order to go on, you must let go of what brought you here.  You cannot go on without turning your back on what brought you to this place.  It is like swinging on a trapeze.  Once you have gained the courage to swing, you never want to let go...and then, without warning, you look up and see another trapeze swinging towards you, perfectly timed to meet you, and you realize you are being asked to let go and grab onto the other trapeze.  You have to release your grip.  You have to reach out.  You have to experience the glorious terror of inbetweeness as you disconnect from one and reach for the other..... my heart is filled with an exhilaration, an anxious anticipation that just as I get to the other bar, I will not grasp it, but I will instead be grasped by the hand of Jesus.  I can hardly wait."  - by Mike Yaconelli from the Blue Book

It's hard to believe that just four years ago, I started down the trail that lead me to where I am going now.  My first trip to Nicaragua was in March of 2008.  Since that day, I have never been the same, and I have had a strange kinship and longing for the people and the country that I cannot fully explain. 

Over the past four years, I have been "swinging" back and forth between the U.S. and Nicaragua, making eleven trips for durations of one week to one month each time.  Each of those trips has been an adventure with its exciting experiences and opportunities of growth.  I feel like I could write a book already from those times: experiencing the moments of "awe and amazement" at seeing God's work, feeling the thrill and excitement of adventure, having a sense of accomplishment by helping others, learning how to really help others, "falling off the bar" by relying on my own strength, being caught by God's grace when I messed up, and getting back in the show with a new act.  Maybe one day I will explain what all this means (it would take a book), but for now, just know that it really has felt like swinging on a trapeze.  I kept going to Nicaragua because that is where I felt called to be and that is where my heart wants to be.  For so long, I had been scared and unprepared to leave home, but now, I am ready to let go and hold on to Jesus.

I feel like the timing is right now, and that's why I am moving to Nicaragua.  I really want to know what it feels to just rely on Christ and to live out the dream of what I have wanted to do for what feels like so long.  This is my dream: to live a life of loving and helping others while sharing and experiencing the tremendous love of Christ.  Although I know my dream can be lived out anywhere, I feel like it comes more naturally and freely in Nicaragua.

So for now, my plan is to live there and become like a Nicaraguan and love on Nicaraguans.  I will be working with some missionaries and assisting them with Spanish and the churches they are working with.  My dear friend, Tamara Price, whom I believe God has placed in my path, and her family are missionaries with Jesus Centered Ministries in Leon, Nicaragua.  She has four sons from the States and two Nicaraguan daughters in her household. I will be helping her and her sons improve their Spanish.  They also have started a church in a community that I dearly love, El Paraiso.  I hope to help Tamara with Sunday school and other activities with the community and the church.

In addition to working with Tamara's family, I will be translating and volunteering for Jesus Centered Ministries.  JCM has different mission groups from the United States (mostly Oak Ridge/Knoxville area) that come to Leon and minister to the communities.  I will be working as one of the translators for two mission groups in July (and hopefully more in the future).  When there are no groups, I will occasionally be tutoring the children that live in the JCM house.

So that is my work, but like I said, I want to be like a Nicaraguan and love on them.  I have been so fortunate to meet and build relationships with such wonderful people in Nicaragua.  I already have a family in Bethel (where I originally began working), and I hope to meet with them more and grow in Christ with my sisters Yahaira and Jazmina.  I also have a sister in Leon, Raquel, who I have adopted and hope to disciple during my time there. 

Of course, everyone knows about Luis, my boyfriend.  Some people think he's the only reason why I am going to Nicaragua.  I do admit he's part of the reason, but he's not the main reason.  I remember this time last year, I felt the calling to go to Nicaragua, but I did not want to journey alone.  While Nicaragua is relatively safe compared to most countries, I really wanted someone to look out for me and protect me; someone who had the gift of discernment and could tell when someone was trying to take advantage of me.  I began praying for God to provide me a man, and little did I know how quickly He would respond.  When I got to Nicaragua last year, Tamara introduced me to Luis, and the rest is history.  Over this past year, I have gotten to know and love a man who is honest, discerning, hardworking, and wise that loves me unconditionally in a way that allows me to see even more the heart of God.  With him, I feel safe and more confident in a world that is different from where I've grown up.  I don't know what our future holds; I can only wait, hope, and see where God leads us.

So I'm about to take the first steps down the trail.  Sunday, I will let go of the trapeze I've been swinging on and take hold of the next one.  I don't know how long I'll swing there, where I'll get off (hopefully I won't fall off), or what the next step will be.  But thank God, that He is there and He never lets go of me.  He is constantly taking my hand, lighting my path, and carrying me on this journey in life.