Where are you Christmas?

Hello, dear readers.  Thanks for keeping up with me. I want to give you a brief update before I spill my thoughts for the night.....

I am currently writing from my mother's cozy little home in Tennessee.  I had come home December 8, earlier than I planned, to see a gynecologist so they could decide whether or not I needed surgery to take out the cyst that was previous 8 cm in diameter.  Fortunately, after my doctor's appointment, I found out that my cyst has strunk significantly, and I will not need surgery right now!  I go back in January to see how it is progressing.

I sometimes wonder if I overreacted to the whole ordeal, but I am thankful to know that I am okay and to have doctors graciously work with me here to get better.  Although I miss being in Nicaragua terribly, I have enjoyed a time to be with my family and to rest.

However, I have had a really hard time getting into the "holiday spirit" this year.  Usually, Christmas is "the most wonderful time of the year."  I have fond memories of childhood Christmases getting ready for Santa, Christmas parties, singing Christmas carols, watching the same Christmas movies over and over, decorating the tree, making cookies and other confections, etc.  I have always enjoyed and still enjoy picking out presents and giving them to the ones I love.  The presents I receive are always wonderful and more than I could have ever asked or needed; they usually clothe me, provide for me, or bring me joy for the coming year. 

Yet this year I have mixed feelings about Christmas. To start with, and to be honest, I didn't know how I was going to buy Christmas presents this year.  I always want to buy my loved ones the best gifts and exactly what they want.  Of course, we always set a price of what "valuable" gifts are, whether the receiver knows how much you pay for it or not.  Thankfully, my family members have been so good to me and have more than helped me out, which I do not deserve.  I am all more than grateful to be able to get and give these things, but something about it all stirred up an unsettling sense of self worth.  I guess I feel bad about myself because I had to borrow and be dependant on my family members. I feel like, too, that this society has misfigured the value of how much you care about someone into the amount that we buy.  And because of this, not being able to buy more from my own earnings has made me feel like I am undervaluing the ones I love. I know this isn't right, and I know this feeling is lie planted by the enemy.

I also have mixed feelings about our values and traditions since coming from another country where I am observing different values and traditions.  In Nicaragua, there are two distinct groups of denominations:  Catholics and Evangelical Christians.  Catholics celebrate a holidays in honor of their saints just about every other day.  The biggest holiday is the celebration of the Immaculate Conception of Mary, which is celebrated December 7.  On that day, the ones celebrating make extravangant altars around a statue of the Virgen Mary in their homes and businesses.  That night, fireworks go off and people fill the streets like Halloween going door to door asking for candy.  Those celebrating the occassion stand in their doorways, and when someone comes to their doorway they ask, "Que es la causa de tanta alegria? (What is the cause of such happiness?"  The "trick or treaters" respond, "La concepcion de Maria!" (The conception of Mary!).  Then, the host/hostess give them candy.

My last day before coming to the States, I was able to observe this tradition.  Earlier that day, I had to go buy my medicines at different pharmacies to stock up for my trip. In one pharmacy, the pharmacist had set up a little altar for Mary and was giving out candy.  Even though I didn't say anything, the woman gave me some candy and insisted that I take it.  So I took it and was about to eat it when the person who was with me told me not to eat it.  Later, that person, who is an Evangelical Christian, told me that eating the candy would be eating food that is offered to idols, which the Bible warns about not doing.

Evangelical Christians in Nicaragua are those that aren't Catholic, so Pentecostal, Baptist, Assemblies of God, etc.  These are the Christians that I congregate with, work with, have relationships with, and I consider myself to be one as well.  Evangelical Christians in Nicaragua don't really celebrate Christmas or any other holiday.  They might buy toys for the kids or exchange presents, but rarely would you see them put up trees, sing Christmas songs, or talk about Santa.  In fact, I wonder what they would think about our traditions.  From talking to some, I believe that they would think our putting presents at the feet of tree, setting out stockings and cookies for Santa, and talking and singing about imaginary characters would be idolatrous.  These traditions aren't Biblical and aren't adoring God or Christ, but rather man made things.

I know this is unnerving to many of you who are reading, and maybe that is why it is so unnerving to me.  For so long, I loved and adored a tradition that has brought so much joy to me and my family.  However, I fear if these traditions are honoring to God.  If we look up the root of our practices, most of them come from rituals honoring other gods.  Our God is a jealous God and He warns about worshiping other gods and making idols out of our hands (see Deutoronomy 5:7-8 and Jeremiah 10:2-4).  I want to honor God because I love Him. I also don't want us as Christians to be ignorant (see Hosea 4:6).

However, as Christians, we celebrate Christmas as the remembrance of Christ coming into the world.  We do sing praises and adorations.  We remember how He humbly came and made His presence among us.  We share the love that He gives us by celebrating together, loving on family and friends, and being generous to those in need.  So this is where I am confused.... I see the people that I look up to and admire and love doing these things.  Our churches and our pastors that I highly respect practice these things. Does that make it okay?  I know that celebrating or not celebrating does not make me any more or less a Christian. 

Paul talks a little about this in Colossians 2.  In verse 8, he says, "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of the world rather than on Christ."  He goes on to explain that Christ is God in bodily form and only by Him and His sacrifice are we forgiven from our sins and given new life through faith in the power of God, clearly stating that no act of ours makes us any more or less righteous.  Then, he goes on to say, "Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day.  These are a shadow of the things to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ." (v.16-17)

I don't want to judge myself or others, because only One can judge and only by His acts are we saved.  I am just in the search for truth in my life.... pure and unadulterated.  I want to listen and consider what is truly honoring to Him, and I am in the process of figuring out what that means in my life.  By me sharing all this, I hope that you don't feel judged, condemned, or guilty.  My hope is that maybe together we can be enlightened.  The reality is that there is a Christ that has come and will come again like a refiner's fire or a launderer's soap (Malachi 3:2-3)  I want us to be ready for Him now and be refined so that our faith may be proven genuine when He is revealed (1 Peter 1:7).