The Beginning of the Journey: A Leap of Faith

"Once you find where the trail is, you are faced with a sobering truth-in order to go on, you must let go of what brought you here.  You cannot go on without turning your back on what brought you to this place.  It is like swinging on a trapeze.  Once you have gained the courage to swing, you never want to let go...and then, without warning, you look up and see another trapeze swinging towards you, perfectly timed to meet you, and you realize you are being asked to let go and grab onto the other trapeze.  You have to release your grip.  You have to reach out.  You have to experience the glorious terror of inbetweeness as you disconnect from one and reach for the other..... my heart is filled with an exhilaration, an anxious anticipation that just as I get to the other bar, I will not grasp it, but I will instead be grasped by the hand of Jesus.  I can hardly wait."  - by Mike Yaconelli from the Blue Book

It's hard to believe that just four years ago, I started down the trail that lead me to where I am going now.  My first trip to Nicaragua was in March of 2008.  Since that day, I have never been the same, and I have had a strange kinship and longing for the people and the country that I cannot fully explain. 

Over the past four years, I have been "swinging" back and forth between the U.S. and Nicaragua, making eleven trips for durations of one week to one month each time.  Each of those trips has been an adventure with its exciting experiences and opportunities of growth.  I feel like I could write a book already from those times: experiencing the moments of "awe and amazement" at seeing God's work, feeling the thrill and excitement of adventure, having a sense of accomplishment by helping others, learning how to really help others, "falling off the bar" by relying on my own strength, being caught by God's grace when I messed up, and getting back in the show with a new act.  Maybe one day I will explain what all this means (it would take a book), but for now, just know that it really has felt like swinging on a trapeze.  I kept going to Nicaragua because that is where I felt called to be and that is where my heart wants to be.  For so long, I had been scared and unprepared to leave home, but now, I am ready to let go and hold on to Jesus.

I feel like the timing is right now, and that's why I am moving to Nicaragua.  I really want to know what it feels to just rely on Christ and to live out the dream of what I have wanted to do for what feels like so long.  This is my dream: to live a life of loving and helping others while sharing and experiencing the tremendous love of Christ.  Although I know my dream can be lived out anywhere, I feel like it comes more naturally and freely in Nicaragua.

So for now, my plan is to live there and become like a Nicaraguan and love on Nicaraguans.  I will be working with some missionaries and assisting them with Spanish and the churches they are working with.  My dear friend, Tamara Price, whom I believe God has placed in my path, and her family are missionaries with Jesus Centered Ministries in Leon, Nicaragua.  She has four sons from the States and two Nicaraguan daughters in her household. I will be helping her and her sons improve their Spanish.  They also have started a church in a community that I dearly love, El Paraiso.  I hope to help Tamara with Sunday school and other activities with the community and the church.

In addition to working with Tamara's family, I will be translating and volunteering for Jesus Centered Ministries.  JCM has different mission groups from the United States (mostly Oak Ridge/Knoxville area) that come to Leon and minister to the communities.  I will be working as one of the translators for two mission groups in July (and hopefully more in the future).  When there are no groups, I will occasionally be tutoring the children that live in the JCM house.

So that is my work, but like I said, I want to be like a Nicaraguan and love on them.  I have been so fortunate to meet and build relationships with such wonderful people in Nicaragua.  I already have a family in Bethel (where I originally began working), and I hope to meet with them more and grow in Christ with my sisters Yahaira and Jazmina.  I also have a sister in Leon, Raquel, who I have adopted and hope to disciple during my time there. 

Of course, everyone knows about Luis, my boyfriend.  Some people think he's the only reason why I am going to Nicaragua.  I do admit he's part of the reason, but he's not the main reason.  I remember this time last year, I felt the calling to go to Nicaragua, but I did not want to journey alone.  While Nicaragua is relatively safe compared to most countries, I really wanted someone to look out for me and protect me; someone who had the gift of discernment and could tell when someone was trying to take advantage of me.  I began praying for God to provide me a man, and little did I know how quickly He would respond.  When I got to Nicaragua last year, Tamara introduced me to Luis, and the rest is history.  Over this past year, I have gotten to know and love a man who is honest, discerning, hardworking, and wise that loves me unconditionally in a way that allows me to see even more the heart of God.  With him, I feel safe and more confident in a world that is different from where I've grown up.  I don't know what our future holds; I can only wait, hope, and see where God leads us.

So I'm about to take the first steps down the trail.  Sunday, I will let go of the trapeze I've been swinging on and take hold of the next one.  I don't know how long I'll swing there, where I'll get off (hopefully I won't fall off), or what the next step will be.  But thank God, that He is there and He never lets go of me.  He is constantly taking my hand, lighting my path, and carrying me on this journey in life.