Well, I have been meaning to write this blog for some time, and I finally feel like I have a the motivation to write it and the time while my baby is napping.
My life completely changed 3 weeks ago. My sweet angel Annabelle came into the world! If you haven't read her birth story, please check it out on her blog: http://babyquintanafox.blogspot.com
Since that day, Luis and I have faced lots of challenges. For one thing, it's hard to recover from a C-section. Nicaraguan women talk about C-sections being the worst thing in the world, and while it's not as bad as they say it is, it is challenging to get back to life afterwards. Thankfully, I have a really good doctor who did I great job stitching me up, and I really haven't had any pain. However, as you probably know, I have been limited to what I can do, and that, to me, has been the hard part. I am always afraid I'm going to split my insides open again! The first few days were the worst since I couldn't even get out of bed or sit down without help. Then, I got mastitis and still had blood pressure problems, which made me even more delicate. I felt so sorry for my poor husband because he had to take care of me AND a newborn (he still hasn't slept a full night since we got home). The good thing is that my dear friend Tamara helped us out and got us someone to come to the house and help clean, wash clothes, cook, and take care of us during the day. I don't think we would've survived that first week without help!
Not only did we need help in the house, it worked out great to have someone here with me because all of the sudden, Luis has had a lot of work. For the past year, Luis has been waiting to work. Well, I think his time finally came. Right before Annabelle was born, he started working on cleaning up and landscaping this really big garden. It was supposed to be the beginning of his landscaping business. Nevertheless, Annabelle came right in the middle of the job, and as soon as he was free from taking us to doctors appointments, he had to start back on the job. And not only has he been working on that, he has gotten calls do to volcano tours or chauffeur people in our car. On top of that, he has still been going to El Paraiso 4 afternoons a week. Sometimes, he'll do a tour in the morning or work in the garden and turn around and go straight to El Paraiso without even having time to eat! So Luis has been busy, and it's been a big adjustment for me to not have him with me. However, we are thankful that God has given him work to provide for our family.
Other than schedule changes, we've had to deal with other challenges. I'm going to call these challenges the plagues because that's what they've felt like! Before Annabelle, we had ants in our house but they never really bothered us. The day we came home, Luis moved our furniture and set up our bedroom and her crib in another room that's a lot cooler. It just so happens that the ants like this room, too. They have gotten in Annabelle's crib (she sleeps with us in the bed now). They have gotten in my clothes in our wardrobe. I've literally had to shake and pick ants off my underwear before putting them on!
In addition to our plague of ants, we've had a plague of mosquitoes. Normally there aren't as many mosquitoes this time of year as there are in the rainy season, but everything is abnormal this year. My feet are covered in mosquito bites. Annabelle has gotten bitten a couple of times, but thankfully not much. The lady that cleans for us will lift up or move something in our rooms and there will be a swarm of mosquitoes. The only thing we can do about our ant and mosquito plague is fumigate. We've fumigated just a couple of times cause it's hard to do with a newborn when we have to leave the house. Yesterday was the second time, and today things seem a little better. However, the first time, it just took them a couple of days to come back!
Then, there's the heat; we can categorize it as a plague as well. It's the dry season, aka summer, here in Nicaragua so that means no rain, lots of dust, and over 100 degree temperatures. Unfortunately, our house does not ventilate well, so it's probably even hotter inside. At the end of the day, I feel like I have been in an oven and my insides are cooked. I've been scared to death about Annabelle getting too hot. She's had a little heat rash on her neck, but nothing major and thank goodness she is doing ok. I have to change rooms a lot with her to try to find cooler spots during the day since we don't have air conditioning here. We keep the fan on her as much as we can, but sometimes it just moves hot air.
So there you have it... what we've been dealing with. Not to mention the day our electricity was torn up in our house or sometimes our water will go out. But although I complain, I really shouldn't. God has still been good to us, and complaining displeases Him.
It's all made me think a lot about the Israelites in Exodus when they came out of Egypt. There were plagues, even though the Egyptians had to suffer them rather than the Israelites. Then, they left Egypt and their slavery and roamed free in the wilderness for 40 years. You would think they would be happy and grateful because their prayers were answered and they were free from the forced labor and free to worship God. You also would think that they would trust God more after witnessing the way He delivered them from Egypt. They were even given silver and gold by the same Egyptians (see Exodus 12:33-36) However, many times throughout Exodus, we see the Israelites complaining and wanting to go back to Egypt. And they had what we would consider really good excuses to complain: 1- they were being pursued by Egyptian armies that wanted to kill them (Exodus 14:10-12); 2- they didn't have any water (Exodus 15:22-24); 3- they didn't have any food (Exodus 16:1-3); 4- they got tired of eating same food all the time (Numbers 21:4-5). I think if any of us went through those circumstances, we would probably complain, too. Yet the Israelites were punished for their complaining; God sent venomous snakes on them! (Exodus 21:6-9)
Really, complaining is a sin. Even though I'm guilty of it, the truth is that complaining reflects a bad attitude towards God, an ungratefulness for what He has done, and a mistrust for what He is going to do. When we complain, we forget all the good things He has done in the past. We, as Christians, have to remember that first and foremost we were slaves to sin, but now, we are free from sin! (see Romans 6). We have to remember that because we are free from sin, we have eternal life and an eternal inheritance share with Christ when we make Him the Lord of our lives. We also have the promise that in all things God works for the good of those who love him , who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). That means that even the bad stuff that happens in this life works out for our own good; we just have to trust and look to God when those things happen.
Let us not forget, too, the personal blessings that we have in our lives. In my case, I should not complain because I have a beautiful baby girl who is such an easy baby and perfect in many ways. I should be thankful that she is fully formed without defect or disease. I should be thankful that I am healing well, too, and that I haven't had any major problems or pain. I have to be thankful that even though this house has its problems, we still have a nice place to live with more space than we need and at an affordable price. I have to be thankful for all the things we have in our house that God Himself blessed us with and did not come from the work of our own hands. I am thankful that we have food to eat every day, even if it's just rice and chicken (like manna and quail). I am thankful that I have family and friends that love me and support me. Furthermore, I am thankful for the work He has given us to grow His kingdom and teach others about His word.
I can't complain. It's hard not to a lot of times just cause I get so emotional. But I know, just like my mom reminded me, that I asked for all of this, too. I wanted to know what it was like to be Nicaraguan. I chose to move here and live the way I do. And the truth is, I have only gotten a taste of what most Nicaraguans go through.
I keep thinking about a family that goes to our church in El Paraiso.... a mother of 4 abandoned by her husband living in a hut by the river. According to Tamara, her hut doesn't have any walls anymore because they kept falling apart. She sells cheese and enchiladas to get by, but I am sure there are many nights they go to bed hungry. The youngest child is about 6 months old; she probably doesn't even have a crib and gets ants on her anyways. Yet, they always thank God for what they have, and the children come to church eager to learn more about His Word.
I'm trusting that God is trying to bring me to that kind of attitude. I feel like a spoiled brat; I think God just shakes His head and laughs sometimes when I cry or complain. Or maybe He does what Luis does and makes a pouty face and makes fun of me! But at the same time, He is and has been so patient with me in working with my character; he's gentle in reminding me of His truth. And living in His truth and being conformed into His likeness is more precious than any comfort the world has to offer because it has eternal rewards.
Thank you for reading. Please pray for me as God deals with me. And I pray that God gently deals with you so that we together may one day reap the benefits of godliness. May God bless you.
